This theme is named Zen and it is totally fitting. It is perfect and it was time for change.
So what is really going on?
I was slacking with respect to meetings and it was a bit noticeable in my attitude. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go or anything like that just the standard “my life is soooo full”. My recovery is my responsibility and I am not confused about the fact that I need to go to meetings in order to stay clean (among other things :). Aside from all of that I love the person that I am becoming. I am able to do *way* more than I was every capable before. I can be there for myself and more importantly others showing up consistently for both. I was never able to do things like this before using or not.
*deleted a bunch of stuff about the online journal and being totally open*
I suppose some things are just better left to notebooks and after some time you can scan them into your computer and display them as images. No one is innocent we are all guilty!
I spent a significant time today cleaning up the basement. I have a ton of junk down there that I haven’t done anything about for years and I finally made a remarkable dent in it. Five or six 30 gallon bags later a bunch of cardboard along with the realization that I am really good at make a lot look like a little. In the end the pile what whittled down and now there is less than there was. I also realized that I couldn’t do it all in one day. There was some stuff my mother gave me from when I was a child all the way up to get High School. My first instinct was to throw it out but then I thought “Maybe it would be cool to keep”. I am not sure so I did what I do best in situations like that-do nothing.
The most incredible realization of late is what I put out I get back. I think that is the premise of the movie “The Secret”. I haven’t seen the movie but it has been true in my life. I am so grateful to have a loving and caring Higher Power. I once doubted that presence in my life but now I would be hard-pressed to deny it with all of the beauty happening in my life. When I say beauty I mean it all…
I can’t wait until 12 new episode of “Tell Me You Love Me” on on-demand! WooooHOOO!