God I can’t even begin to recount all that has happened in my life since my last post here, but I’ll tell you all it has been happy, sad, bitter, indifferent, guilty, angry, contemplative, and fun.
I was just sitting here working when the Cowboy Junkies song “Spiral Down” came on…I heard this song performed live at Symphony Hall a week or so ago. Man what a show, but that isn’t why I am writing…Hearing it made me feel a bit nostalgic about things that weren’t so old but more about how I am feeling right now. That feeling you get when you look back from where you are standing and you don’t see a pile of shit, or maybe you do see a pile of shit, but it isn’t all that bad because it is your pile of shit. That is all I want out of life comfort with my own shit.
As friends we meet and talk about our respective shit and how we have individually managed to stomp through it. Sometimes we do it alone and then report back to the troops, other times we call in reinforcements, but in the end it is all just shit and it isn’t so much about trying to get away from the smell as much as it is about learning how to live with it.
I guess, for me, it is about learning how to live with myself that gives me the ability to change and grow. It all starts and ends with me, but if I can’t stand myself how in the hell can I move on?
Ahh I don’t know where that came from…All I am saying is that my life isn’t a pile of shit today. I love myself and the people in it…Sappy it may seem but it is really a change from the indifference that has ruled my life in the past.
Well…I don’t want to come out of the gates too quick…that’s it for now lets see if I write again tonight or tomorrow :).