I was going to write some about wanting and needing. Sometimes I am so confused I can’t even figure out the difference. I think I want something, get it, and then decide I don’t anymore. Or maybe I want something and then decide I don’t need it anymore. Certainly not all of what I want is what I need and vice-versa.
What do you do with all of the feelings? Heh. Imagine being around someone and that person conjuring up all of these feelings. You think you know what the feelings are but something inside of you says “are you sure?”. Not wanting to make a mistake you wait patiently just to be sure. Time passes and the feelings returns over and over again. Confidence comes to the forefront of the feelings and then you realize having will not cure the wanting and that is no exception for needing. Plain and simple we never ever ever ever get what we want. To want is exactly that the state of wanting.
I long to want and consequently suffer in the pain of wanting. I suppose wants sit in needs waiting room. I have tons of wants but very few needs. Maybe it is time for me to let my wants mature and walk through the door to become needs. Define your wants and make them needs.
I have no idea what this all means…I am lonely. It feels so painfully good. I know this space so well, but this time it isn’t cluttered with tons of other shit. I am just alone in a big room with lots of space for someone else that has the same kind of space. Like spaces overlap…Wow I am pretty late for work…what is going on?