Walking Around

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I suppose I am in one of those states…I’m sad in an Aaron sort of way. I realize that certain things need to happen in order for me to progress through the stages of development. I watched this movie and it was about love, career, and success. All great elements for a movie and for life too. The problem with life is it isn’t condensed into ninety minutes. That being so it seems that things don’t have to work out so linearly in life (well actually everything is linear since time is linear, or is it?) I don’t know. I don’t pretend to know. F it. I am tired of pretending. My point is that things definitely don’t happen as I expect and most certainly my life doesn’t form a straight line. OK. OK. My perception of life and reality doesn’t form a straight line.

People have been telling me, in different ways, that I really need to find someone to spend the rest of my life with because life alone ( in the later years ) will suck. I get it. I understand. I can see that being alone when I am old, and even before then will not be so much fun, but I wonder if I have what it takes to be with someone. So many years later and it feels like I am getting to old to change. I am not that old but I am not getting younger. SSDD. I can read through tons of old journals with all of the same shit in them.

I have some work to do. I always will. Who knows how this thing will play out? I will do my best to continue to show up for life and have hope that someday I will meet up with my purpose whatever that is.