OK so I can’t say I’m sorry so I will write it in my blog so that everyone knows that I make mistakes too…
Translated that means so that I don’t forget.
I was riding my bike home from a meeting and I took a left hand turn and cut off a car. If that wasn’t enough I got in the bike lane on Broadway and took a right turn without using a hand signal. I went wide to allow the car to take the turn because the bike lane intersects with the care lane.
bikelane
When I did that the person in the right lane yelled “Hey where are your hand signals??” I got pissed and but him off and then went to his window and pissed an moaned and eventually said “Fuck You”.
I was riding away when it hit me: I was wrong. Plain and simple no explanation needed. I was wrong and what I should have done was go to his window and said “You are right and I am sorry.” Instead I invalidated his attempt to help me by saying fuck you to him. Not very nice.
I honestly thing this is the first time in my life that I recognized that I should have just said that I was wrong and apologized for it then. I wanted to say that I was sorry but it is too late.
Yep I made an ass out of myself. Damn I hate it when stuff like this happens it reminds me that I don’t have anything and I am not perfect and that I too am a work in progress. Man when I hear people say “Ego maniac with low self-esteem” I definitely identify.
I am just trying to do my best. I can’t tell that guy and the people he had in the car I am sorry but I can say it here and to myself: I am sorry. I was upset because he called me on my shit and I reacted inappropriately. I will make amends by choosing to react in a more appropriate way next time while realizing I am powerless over my character defects. Wow! That’s a mouthful…I am not even sure what it means…
Two friends are celebrating this week!!! Recovery rocks!