First I really don’t want to give to much away but at the same time I want to keep a journal about what I’m going through during the training. So with that said…
Orientation was just awesome. It was great to see people that I had already met and to me so many new people. What exactly am I here for? That was the question posed to me and all of the trainees. Since yesterday I’ve been doing my best to let go of all of the stuff that I’ve brought with me to training. I just want to remain open and willing. I will do my best to just be OK with not knowing and listen to what I am being told to do. The next nine weeks is not about what I want to do it is about doing what I’m told to do because it will be best for me.
Jim told this great story about yoga masters and Gods…I though it was funny I knew the end of the story before he told it but it was pretty obvious 🙂
I sat there as I was listening to Raj and all of the speakers and I just felt really open. I had to consciously keep myself in check because I didn’t want to cry. Realizing where I was (finally) and all of the work that I had to do just to get to here is pretty overwhelming. Listening to the teachers tell us that we have to let go and we will be changed made me feel happy and scared at the same time.
I can even feel it now. I think I don’t deserve this, but I know that is bull shit. I’m willing to do the work. I’m willing to bust my ass, fall down, get up, whatever I have to do to stay in the process. I know this won’t be easy but when has anything that has been worthwhile in my life been easy? Never.
“Bikram is like a mirror.”
I wonder what I’ll see when I look at him…
Time to study half-moon again…