I got home from the meeting last night and took a look at my tomato plants. They were a messed up and not taken care of. It totally pissed me off that I have been neglecting the plants. The branches were all over the ground and totally crooked. I tied them up the best I could and am committed to doing a better job on them this weekend.
It is important for me to remember that I can decided to change at any point. Just because I haven’t been doing something doesn’t mean I can’t start to do it now. I don’t have to destroy something and start from scratch. Whenever something doesn’t go right for me I want to start over. Life is about just picking up where you left off and keep on going.
I will say that I didn’t really want to mess with tomato plants. I didn’t want to because I wasn’t ready or willing to take care of them. Now I have nine tomato plants that depend on me and I have to take care of them because they can’t take care of themselves. Well I suppose that is completely up to interpretation…
Went to yoga this morning and I am going to do some climbing after work today. I had the most relaxed yoga class I think I have ever had not because the teacher wasn’t tough but because I wasn’t tough on myself. It is truly amazing just how must pressure the mind can put on the body.
I feel a bit of relief from whatever was going on in my head for the past few days and feel that taking a few days off has really helped restore my body and mind back to sanity :). I got a lot of miscellaneous stuff done at work yesterday and hope to set some goals at work today.
Probably the most important thing that happened to me today was meeting a few addicts in Harvard Square after yoga. They were still active and I thought about it before I approached them, but I went up to them and asked how they were and if they were going to a meeting. We talked for awhile and I gave them a few bucks for something to eat. I can’t control what they use it for but I hope they will remember where it came from and that there is hope for them. What is really great is as I was standing there with them another addict in recovery came up to me and gave me a big hug. I wasn’t alone :).
I will pray for them today not because they are less than or hopeless but because they are a reflection of me and I of them. I hope that they can get this and know that they can if they choose to and hold on for dear life. Doing what is uncomfortable on a daily basis isn’t easy. It is really hard to continually go against what “feels” good and comfortable and do the uncomfortable. It isn’t easy to change and grow, but stagnation isn’t easy either. It’s a choice.
I hope someone prays for me today too :). I need love an affection just like anyone else. Perhaps I will take care of my tomato plants and as a result feel better about taking care of me.