It is so hard to keep it in the day. When life gets hard the first thing I want to do is revert back to whatever feels ‘safe’. So when I was told by my employer on Friday that I would be converted from a salaried worker to an hourly worker my head spun.
What really sucks is the way that it was presented and what is even worse is that I was told to keep it quiet. Yes not only am I suppose to just accept the fact that I am not valued, or, valued less than workers they consider to be ‘skilled’ I am also suppose to keep other peoples secrets. Well that just sucks doubly…
I suppose I should be grateful. I’ve never been in this situation before. To some degree I suppose I thought I was exempt from this type of action since I’m a dammed good employee and I get shit done. I’m not happy and this is totally unacceptable, but as my friend Rob says “Not very nice but what am I going to do about it.”
In speaking to another friend I expressed the obvious fact which is that the damage has already been done. I’ve been effectively demoted and I’m not even getting into the details of the situation which make the picture look even worse.
Companies can pretty much do whatever they want whenever they want. Sure there are rules governing their behavior but I don’t have any say in this other than quitting or simply acquiescing. I just really don’t know what to do…should I just sit back and be quiet or open my mouth some more and express my dissatisfaction with the entire situation.
I feel like a second class citizen at this place now and it just isn’t right. Separation is the first sign that trouble is up ahead. I’m not keeping anyone’s secrets especially when they concern me and my well-being.
What is so crazy is I put so much into this company. I thought to myself before I was hired “OH if I just get this job…” Like it was a freaking Gucci bag or some other such nonsense. But seriously I really believed in this company and where it was going and whatnot. I suppose it feels like the Coach saying your benched but not just yet. “You can work a bit longer and harder and you will never be first string.”
OK that sounds like a great deal where do I sign up?
You know there is no job, no relationship, no anything that completes me. I’m already completed-completely a work in progress.
Hell, I like the job. It is usually the other way around, but I suppose experience teaches us lessons from both sides. I haven’t been fired or laid off but it sure feels that way…
Just because I am invited to do something unhealthy doesn’t mean I have to accept. Powerless not helpless as my sponsor so gently reminds me.
Lost dreams reawakened, new possibilities arise!
A friend reminded me that the universe is unfolding exactly the way it is suppose to. May sound a bit corny but I know that to be true in my life, and thank god it doesn’t unfold the way I think it should because that would definitely be a mess.