This is definitely worth talking about…the other night I had the weirdest dream. Actually now that I think about I have had something similar to this before but basically I had figured out a way to remove my spine from my body. It was sitting there next to me and I was moving around gingerly so as not to totally collapse. The conflict of the dream was how I was going to get it to go back into my body.
Visually I was focused on the lower ribs. Weird.
Throughout my life I have wished there was some way we could pull our spines out of our bodies so that we could stretch them out and rest them. They spend so much time holding us up it would be great if we could take them out and tune them up.
I went to yoga this morning! 6am class and it was the easiest Bikram Yoga class I have ever had. I really really needed it and I feel restored and not totally beat up. Please no one tell Bikram. Doesn’t mean much though since it is so subjective it could have easily been the hardest class I have ever had.
I am glad to have gone in the morning now I can get on with my day and get to bed early and do it again tomorrow. Yep yoga is in the morning for me…
I had a couple of cool thoughts in class but they came and went. I thought about asking this woman out, and then I thought about how hot the instructor was. Oh yea and then I started thinking about how fickle I can be. How much I exhibit the approach/avoid something-or-other. What I am getting at is how I think I like something and then I don’t anymore but it isn’t because it isn’t worth liking it is just that I have reached my limit for the time being. I stop re-group and then try it again. That doesn’t happen all of the time but it happens enough to be a pattern in my life.
While I was having breakfast I noticed this really cool book. I had bought it for a past girlfriend and we named it the “Big Ideas Book”. It was suppose to be a place that we put ideas we had and wanted to do together. When we broke up it was completely empty and is now my gratitude book. It really doesn’t matter what we say we want what matters is what we do. Some thoughts make it from our heads to a piece of paper and then into action but so many just die on the vine.
I thought the Big Ideas Book was a great idea but the next step which we never took was to actually follow through and write something down. As much as I beat myself up for not trying hard enough this book is an expression of the lack of writing on the walls :). I can’t force something to be that isn’t meant to be. All I can do is keep showing up and not give up on myself or others…
I suppose that gratitude is no less than a BIG idea. Hell that book saved my ass in my sixth year of recovery. It is filled with shit that I am happy to have in my life today. And with that…
What are you grateful for?