So it’s just where I’ve been…It isn’t because I like being here but here is where I’m at…I have been thinking a lot about relationships specifically romantic ones and how I would like to be in one. I’m fickle as fuck and just as quickly as I fall into love I can fall out of it. I’m not unique :). Anyway I had this dream last night…
insert wavy lines like what you see when you are driving a car and coming up over a hill, or, that silly effect they would do in “The Brady Bunch” to denote a dream, or, a bunch of smoke and someones head exploding.
I am not sure where I was only that the place reminded me of the foster home I was living at. I was living there with my mother and she was sleeping on the couch as usual. (My mother slept a lot because she busted her ass to pay for us dammed kids. Who the hell did we think we were costing all kinds of money. Yep it was our fault. Good people do shitty things too! Doesn’t make them any less good just more human. ) I had a date with this woman and I didn’t want to be late but I was just so tired. I needed to get some sleep, but I felt that if I went to sleep I would never wake up in time to meet her for our date.
Who was she?
The best I can tell it was Sara. Sara was an old friend from my raving days (more on that in a minute). So I took a nap and woke up late for our date. I don’t know if I called and told her I would be late but she wasn’t mad or anything she was just happy to have my company and I hers. Still I was worried that she would reject me because I fell short.
As best as I can remember it was 7:30 and I was suppose to be there at 7
During the dream I was left with the felling that which I love is right in front of me. I really had the feeling that what I have been looking for isn’t something that I can make happen but will just naturally happen without my meddling. Yea, Yea I know everyone knows that, but for one of the first times I actually felt it in my heart.
Sara was a good friend, but I liked her friend and didn’t even realize she (Sara) was into me until it was too late. I’m crazy loyal hanging on to initial ideas even if they will be the death of me. Incorrigible I may be but I’m just being what I am for the time being…We see what we see and that’s what comprises what is and what will be.
Ha. I’m done. Peace out.