I am not sure which order this happened in but here goes…
I was living with Kate but for some reason or another I was trying to get her out of my place. After a huge battle and the cops came she finally left. It was the same old bullshit: yelling, screaming, all of that stuff. I just wanted some peace.
The scene shifted and I was at my current job, but I was working in a different department or something. My mentor or maybe boss was talking to me about the previous person that held my position.
Apparently I was living with several people that I worked with and they were all using. I was finally ready. I hadn’t used in so long and one of the guys got some stuff from this other person that apparently lived pretty far away but the shit was so good that it really didn’t matter. A small amount of this shit would rock your world.
I was ready and I didn’t care about my clean time. I needed some works but I new they were in the house somewhere. All of the other guys were totally messed up just sitting there with their eye lids going up and down. In total bliss only it didn’t really look like bliss. Argh I am getting ahead of myself. Back to the works…I was thinking about using that was all that was going through my mind. And then as if by some miracle I thought about my sponsor. I thought wait a minute I didn’t have to do this I could call him first. I could talk to him and ask him if this was really a good idea.
I looked over and could see all of their heads eye lids moving up and down. Suddenly it didn’t look very attractive to me and although I still wanted to use, I didn’t.
I was glad that I didn’t get high in the dream. I am glad that even in my dreams recovery shines through. I definitely don’t want to use, but I must do my best to maintain balance in my life. I believe this dream is a direct result to how much I have been pushing myself lately.
Time to slow it down. Climbing tonight and then meeting tomorrow, Wednesday, and Thursday as usual…