It’s funny the day just usually breeds a subject, but tonight I am at a loss. Funny thing is I will only be able to use this one once (and have it look cool) :).
Firefox 2.0 need I say more? The built in spell checker is reason enough to upgrade. Many other improvements see the release notes for more information.
I did a lot more work with Docbook today. I decided to use eDe from e-novative. This software package was the most comprehensive. Here is a list:
- Win32 Docbook
- e-novative
- vex
- xmlmind
I really like vex and xmlmind, but both have some drawbacks. I suppose most of the drawbacks are my lack of experience, but the whole point was to be able to start writing right away not screw around configuring things. eDe was simple to install and really easy to configure. eDe uses apache FOP, docbook, xsl stylesheets, all wrapped around a bunch of scripts. What is really nice is I can tell a co-worker “hey just install this and use these templates/stylesheets” and we will generate similar looking, future-proof :), portable documents.
Yea right. Anyway I am really glad I have been sticking to this and working hard at understanding things. It is tough at times to learn something new because work, contrary to popular belief definitely does not promote learning. For me work promotes all the shit I hated in grammar school. Haha at least sometimes that is what I go through at work, reliving all of that shit.
Man kids were so fucking mean to me when I was in grade school. What I don’t get is that for the most part I am sure the core of my being is intact and that some part of who I was is part of who I am. So that being said why do people like me today? Why did my peers hate me then but like me know? Then again maybe the people that hated me then still hate me today, but are just too afraid to admit it. Shit I don’t like everyone I meet, but I also don’t feel the need to tell them that. I just allow them to be who they are but choosing not to be around them.
I remember St. Mary’s school. I remember other class members who would get picked on also. My status in school was a steady competition for last place. Depending on the moods of the bully’s it was either me or Frank. Isn’t it funny how this shit seems so “end of the world” at the time?
It wasn’t always bad…There was a time that I was bigger than most of the other kids and so I was capable of kicking the kickball far. I was always every teams first pick. And then I wasn’t. I could still kick the ball far, but no one wanted me on their team. Isn’t that fucking weird? I mean people would back up when I was up at home plate.
But then I got fat, and that was that. I suppose food because my drug of choice since I really didn’t have a choice for choosing.
Jelly doughnut was my nickname.
It wasn’t long before I found real drugs and a so-called way out. Hey, it *was* a way out until it wasn’t a way out anymore. I am sure it stopped me from hanging it up more than once.
Don’t even ask me where all of this shit is coming from, but in this whole montage I can remember standing at home plate in seventh grade and a classmate backing up waiting for me to kick the ball. I can remember Chris and Doug calling me jelly doughnut. I can remember thinking Crystal was hot, and loving Liz. I remember how in some fucking way EVERYONE OF THOSE PEOPLE REJECTED ME. No, I was NEVER accepted by my peers and yet they were all I had…
That is not the case today, but it still hurts. It is difficult to move on and realize that was then and this is now…Or is it?