Sometimes it seems like it only takes a second to change everything. One angry word, evil look, or a raise of the fist and boom right back to where it all began. I’ll have you believe I didn’t do anything to deserve the emotional backlash I got today, but to be honest if it was my responsibility I wouldn’t be lying if I told you I didn’t do it.
All I know is I felt bad and what was worse is there was nothing I could do about it. I was looking for all of the normal ways out of the way that I was feeling but it just didn’t work. I got my ass to a meeting and was comforted by other addicts. Man, I am so excited about my celebration and yet scared too.
It really sucks when you cruise through life telling yourself that you were the victim and everyone else is responsibile and then one day you realize that you played an integral part in all of it. To be even more specific sometimes I am a complete asshole and I don’t like it at all. I definately push people and can be very agressive.
All stuff to work on…
My friend Polly called me today and that cheered me up 🙂