After the surgery I was wheeled up to my room. The transfer from one bed to the next was not much fun. The medical experts tried to move me but I knew it was all bullshit. I was going to have to move myself onto the other bed. I did my best to help and screamed in the process but I was able to get to the other bed. The pain slowly faded and I just tried to stay calm, but it felt like there was a knife in my back.
I was so grateful that Heather was there with me and I wasn’t alone. I really don’t remember much more of that night outside of the pain and them coming in to give me more drugs. Heather was able to squeeze onto the bed and we both slept as best we could.
Sleeping didn’t turn out to be very easy especially when you have a tube sticking out of your chest. There was a lot of pain that night but the doctors kept coming in and giving me medication. I was afraid to take the drugs so when one came in and asked me if I wanted anything I said “no”. I realized later that this was a mistake because the pain came back ten-fold and then I had to wait for the shift change.
Spare-change
Got change?
Life change?
Rearrange
Honestly…for me it was the first time in a long time that I really trusted someone. That I counted on the fact that she would be there. I couldn’t believe she was there for me in such a capacity. It had to mean something and as I said to her one of those nights what she did for me in that hospital bought her a lifetime of servitude. I said it and I meant it.
Having someone by your side is without parallel. To know that you can count on and trust in someone is just amazing. Still the days in the hospital just reinforced us and our love grew. We both experienced an intimacy that was equally unparalleled.
Days after it all came crumbling down my sister said to me “I just thought you have found her Aaron, by the way you guys looked at each other.”
It just felt so great to be cared for and loved. One day after work she came to the room with some food and a cute little flower for me, an orchid. I was taken care of, yea, I would be OK.
Man I’ll tell you…dealing with all of the feelings. Having to use those dammed drugs…falling in love…shit man…
Every night without fail she lay by my side. On the final day when checkout time came I walked over to my backpack and there it was all ready for me with everything packed! Was I actually in a relationship where my partner actually helped me? Could if fu king be that I was actually going out with someone that was helpful? No that could possibly be true! But it was…
Back home gray days…the drugs were wearing off and I just felt all out of sorts. Being in a hospital really messes you up. It felt good to walk to the grocery store and do something that was familiar.
It felt good to have her there by my side willing to help me through a tough time. I was so grateful to not be alone and to be with someone I love and loves me.
We get what were given nothing more and nothing less. A season, a reason, or a lifetime. Fuck man that really sucks but who am I to argue with the universe? It is how it is and I can only hope there is something else in store for me in the future.