Hahah so I wrote this totally evil post about myself and then deleted it. Wrote another post about that post and saved it (for only me to see) and now I am writing another post about the other two. Lame.
The PG-13 version is I am sad. I feel ashamed and alone and a whole bunch of pity.
I got a deep-tissue massage today and I think it kicked up all of these emotions. Massage therapists have a way of getting me to talk (fuck them I just talk) about myself. I talk about how I hate my mother, but yet really respect her for what she did for me. I talk about the years that I used and about what I am doing to stay clean.
My back was so incredibly tight it really wasn’t funny. She did a really good job and now I am going to take some asprin and sleep.
Does anyone know how to not feel like a failure? I know it isn’t productive to think like this but I feel so fucking bad about myself.
Anyway I have to becareful otherwise I will be writing another post about a post about a post about a post.