First this is the last journal entry that I’ll publish while I’m at teacher training. We were encouraged to keep a journal but were asked to not let everyone know what is going on constantly. I don’t know if this really applies to me since I use my blog to journal about my life but whatever. I’m going to make all of my posts going forward unpublished and then I’ll publish everything after the training. I just think it is senseless for me to write things into a book when I’ve been using this as a journal for almost the past decade. Plus who really cares about my blog? Never mind the fact that it isn’t for others as much as it is for me. If people benefit great…but…
So first class with the boss was great. I mean it was fucking painful but great. I can honestly say that I did my best. It wasn’t my best class but I didn’t give up outside of just not being able to hold the posture any longer. It is the first time in awhile that I fell out of triangle. It felt like my adductors were going to snap-everything was on fire.
I really want to do well here and there are all of the thoughts floating through my head. “Where do I measure up to everyone else?” “Am I good enough?” “Do I deserve this?” Well I guess all of those questions really don’t matter because I’m here and there is “No way out.” I have to keep moving forward now because there is nothing left for me outside of completing the training.
I have to study.
“I never said it would be easy. Only said that it would be worth it” – Bikram