I woke up this morning at 4am in terrible pain. I had a weird dream about this killer who was protecting me. All I really remember is hiding in a room and then playing with some screws putting them into a plastic bag.
I was trying to put my underwear on when someone started pushing the door open. I said “Wait I am trying to get dressed.”
When I actually woke up I couldn’t believe how sore I was. My back and legs felt so bad it was pretty hard to move. I am not quite sure how do describe this pain but it is unlike any pain I have felt before.
I didn’t think I was going to go to work so I got up and watched an episode of the wire. I fell back asleep at about 5am and didn’t get up until just about 8 so I was refreshed.
The day at work was productive, (deleted some text), but the pain did get in the way. I had taken some advil at 4am and didn’t take anymore throughout the day. I am going to take some before bed tonight.
I suppose I am struggling with relationships lately. It is out of my hands. There is a part of me that just gets so angry with people, but there is no reason I should always be the one to get on my hands and knees to make sure things are OK. You know what? Fuck it.
All I know is I am acting and behaving in a way that is contrary to how I normally act and it is uncomfortable. I don’t know if it is right or wrong, but more will be revealed.
I pray that I can be more compassionate and loving first to myself and then to everyone else.
So anyway. I have to be more careful when it comes to working out and climbing. OUCH! This freaking hurts.