Do you ever get that feeling of being completely sick of talking? Sick of trying to control, and figure out just why everthing is the way that it is. I am here to tell everyone that it all doesn’t matter. Wait. Am I here to tell all of you or am I here to tell myself?
Who knows.
Went to a meeting tonight and suffered through it. I got home and suffered through that now I am sitting here writing incomplete/run-on sentences.
It doesn’t really matter because I will get ready for bed, pray, read, sleep, wake, pray and carry out my day tomorrow no matter how I feel. I am comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes. I am not afraid.
What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I thought about using? I mean what the fuck I say that shit all of the time and yet I don’t do fucking anything about it. Piss and moan about getting high, well, fuck I am tired of acting like a fucking baby.
I tried the talking route now I will just carry on with my life and write about things as they apply but I am not going to bitch and moan about wanting to use. Just assume that I always want to use and I will do a good job of letting others know when I don’t want to use.