I’m pretty pissed man…maybe pissed isn’t the right word but whatever. On Friday I woke up with plenty of time to get to the train for my appointment in Newburyport. I got on the red line and then there were problems. Stuck at Kendall and stuck before MGH stop. I had five minutes to make it from MGH to North Station. I ran as fast as I could but just couldn’t cover that much ground in less than 5 minutes.
I missed the train.
I was going to get a zipcar but I couldn’t afford it. I called up my therapist and let him know that I missed the train. It’s worthwile to put it out there that I had cancelled an appointment two weeks earlier (with 24 hours notice) because of the snow. Fifteen or so minutes later I get a call from him and this is what he says:
John “Not good Aaron, not good. You’re into me for $280 dollars what are you gonna do?”
Aaron “Uhm John I’m going to pay you…”
John (taken aback) “Well I don’t know when I can get you up here again.”
Aaron “No problem. I’m all set.”
At some point I realized that I was being changed for the appointment that I was missing. Oh well I guess that is fair. Although I’m not happy about not knowing what he was charging me for this session.
I’m aware his response was a reaction to me missing the appointment and in his eyes for the second time. What pisses me off the most is that not only do I have to pay for the appointment I also had to listen to his bullshit.
Anyway the past few days has been a back and forth around me wanting to be an asshole right back. Like put a big fuck you on the check when I send it, or simply not pay the arrogant fucker. But all of my ego-driven thoughts are just ways to distort reality and cause more pain. Yea he was an asshole but I’ll pay him and call it a day. I can do a service to myself by not seeing him anymore.
In all of this my friend said something so crucial the other day. He said “Aaron, don’t give this thing a life of it’s own.”. I definitely do that when things like this come up.
Oh well you live and learn. The good news for me is that I must be living if I’m learning!