I don’t know I guess I would like to write all about how happy I am and how great the trip is going but that would be a lie. I mean things are OK I realize that much but what pisses me off is my mind. Why do I have to get into these states of mind where I think everything is wrong and nothing I do is right? Why can’t I just let things be and enjoy them for what they are and not what I think they should or could be?
I have come a long way and I am grateful. The pain is much less than it use to be and now for the most part the resolution is prayer, meditation, sleep, talking, and support or some variation thereof.
I can find anything to obsess about:
Obsessions:
1) UPS package that I have to pick up on Monday.
2) My shoes and getting new inserts
3) The fact that I didn’t bring hiking boots and now there is talk of hiking!?!?!?!?!??!
Breathe…My obsessions lead me to trying to find something, anything to latch onto.
Things are as they are and I am happy that I can feel enough to experience them.
Off to the main meetings more later…