The weekend has been really great so far. Lots of stuff going on as usual :). Last night I met with my friends the three G’s. We had a really fun time on the Island of Plumb eating and talking. I noticed that I was really tired like the kind of tired that just cuts through your bones. I’ve really been dedicated to yoga. Go and see for yourself my calendar lists all of the classes that I have taken over the past months. I’m not boasting I’m just proud. I’m proud of myself because it isn’t easy. In fact it is really hard. I have been putting it first in my life and I’m really not even sure why. I guess there is just something inside of me that is telling me that it is the right thing to do. Not in a moral sense but as a direction, a pathway.
I have no idea where any of this is going but I am going to continue down this path because I believe it is exactly where I am suppose to be. Through physical struggle I get closer to myself and in that I am able to quiet the mind and do whatever it is I am suppose to do. I’m really not sure what that is but I know how I’m called by the people in my life day in and day out. I need to show up and to do that I need to be healthy and to be healthy I must do yoga. Simple, concise, and easy to understand.
Back to Plumb Island: My friends brought out a cake for me and some gifts. They all sang Happy Birthday and showed me the love I have always wanted but didn’t really know how to ask for. It really isn’t something you can ask for, but something that is given by people that love you. I started to well up but remembered to “lock my knee” since I can cry on my own time :). Friendship and love is a truly amazing thing. Something that is built over time through any and all conditions we have to be there for one another throughout life. What is most important is that it isn’t always easy and when it gets difficult we must not give up.
Speaking of not giving up I went to a meeting this morning to see a friend celebrate 10 years clean! Amazing. I started welling up there too. To think that someone can stay clean for 10 years is really an amazing thing. Most importantly I think of myself and the fact that if he can do it so can I. A true power of example. From the places that most addicts come from it is amazing we can stay clean for 10 minutes never mind 10 years, but we can. Together, a union or marriage if you will of addicts from all over helping one another day after day. The translation of the word yoga is “marriage” or “union”. Again I see it play a part in my life. I’m not saying anything special just noticing things in my life. So many different concepts but they all seem to point in a similar direction and while spoken differently say similar things.
All over history we see this in religion, science, philosophy, all of the studies and I’m sure personal experiences. But what does it all mean?
What a great segue to the movie I watched tonight “Knowing”. I really enjoyed it although it was hard to watch all of the tragedy and destruction, but the hope was that there are others out there that want to help. I really don’t know if all of this means anything but maybe that just isn’t for me to know. In the movie the “chosen people” were the ones that could hear the aliens messages. If you didn’t hear the message you didn’t get to leave. Maybe that is just a extravagant metaphor for the stages of life? What I mean is that until you hear the messages you are suppose to hear you can’t move on to the next stage.
The struggles I’ve had in yoga class have no doubt brought me closer to myself. It is helping me understand me shedding the parts I don’t need and keeping the part I do. Faith, Determination, Patience, Honesty and there is one more I can’t remember. These are important traits and I must continue to work on them if I am going to be able to fulfill my duty.
This isn’t about a week or a month or even a year it is about a lifetime. I’m not alone here we all have to make these decisions and it isn’t easy. I’ll just continue to do my best.