Wow I totally started this post off differently. I was going to report some surface level stuff that was going on, but then I listened to a song and it just changed everything…
I keep letting you back in
How can I explain myself
As painful as this thing has been
I just can’t be with no one else
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I’ll let go too
‘Cause no one’s hurt me more than you
And no one ever will
I read that part of the song and started crying. You see my ex and I loved this song and it was and is for me a time machine back to my relationship with Kate. It is funny whenever I seem to go to this Mexican restaurant in Cambridge the song always comes on. I always think of Kate when I hear it….Anyway the part that really got me was this section:
See I know what we got to do
You let go and I’ll let go too
In the end that was what we had to do and it was so painful. It was so hard to just let go. It seems like pain just seeps into the cracks created by life’s experience and there we are to feel it over and over again.
I dunno…just sharing what is going on with me right now. Nothing more or less than that plus Kate knows I love her and always will…
So don’t know where all of that came from, but anyway…I met with my therapist this weekend and let him know that I felt like it was time to stop. It was a really cool process that seemed very healthy. We talked about the progress and left another appointment open-ended. I thought that was really cool. He has helped me so much through all of these years…Wow…I am moving forward. What a gift.
So, the title-Just try? Well just try. I don’t have to succeed or win or anything all I have to keep on doing is trying. Trying is best because I generally don’t do things half-assed anyway so trying is more than enough for someone like me. In other words, if I am trying I am doing and that my friends is good enough.
Time for bed.