I really don’t know what it is about this freaking blog that helps me so much. I suppose it really doesn’t matter, but it is important to me to write here and not censor what or how I am feeling. “Feelings aren’t facts, but they are feelings” a wise friend once said to me…We all have feelings and need to process them in whatever way possible.
If we don’t deal with our feelings our feelings will deal with us. Plain and simple there is no way around feeling it is an integral part of each of our personalities whether we recognize it or not. Denial is not an escape from our emotions but a back door that gets worn with time. Eventually it stops working as the pharmaceutical company known as the hypothalamus creates more and more reaction causing peptides. I really got just how responsible it is for generating feeling. It really is amazing.
Anyway I have been afraid to write about what is really going on in my life. The point is my journal isn’t a passive-aggressive way of communication. There are no secret messages here that I hope to communicate because I am not able to communicate verbally. This is a way for me to process my shit in the best way possible openly and honestly.
I can’t write about everything here it just wouldn’t make sense. It would make me too vulnerable and plus even I need time to process things and slowly let things out as they become more clearer to me. It’s a scratch board for my feelings and emotions rather than a type set book about a way of being. Ideas and not facts…