What a week! I have gone through the gamut of emotions. Up and down and all around…Whee! I wonder if I will ever be good enough for me? I wonder if there will ever come a time in my life where I will just accept where I am and let things be. I suppose at some level I am there right now but it seems that I have to go through the storm before I reach the clearing. Wow that was pretty dammed obvious.
I really like my job and the people that I am working with. It is really cool to work with such a diverse group of people that each know a lot about many different things. I have been doing my best to fit in and not be too annoying. I know I am the FNG as my friend Bryan put it and that just plain sucks. Being the fucking new guy is a , well, painful process but I have to say everyone there has made it pretty easy.
I just want to be useful. I want to be able to do a good job and have a purpose. I know I can’t expect to find my identity in my job but there is a lot that comes from work that directly correlates to self-esteem, feelings and the like. We all spend an enormous part of our lives working why should it be the source of a sense of accomplishment and well-being? Hell it doesn’t have to be but it is for me and so it is…
I am grateful for everyone and everything that is part of my life. I celebrate each day as another chance to be part of! It is no wonder my spirit shines so bright!