I am really sorry but I just can’t do this anymore. I have given it my all. Four plus years and it is time to throw in the towel. I just can’t do this anymore. I have so much support but I don’t want to help myself anymore I want to be alone. I want to die. I no longer want to live.
Feeling like this is no fun at all. I can’t do anything and walk around with this knot in the bottom of my stomach. Argh. Maybe I will run into that which strips me of my being. I am no longer commited to saying “No.”