I don’t know what came over me today but I got really grumpy this afternoon. I just couldn’t shake it and each time I tried to push through it it seemed to get worse and worse.
I am just so sick of being alone. It especially sucks around the Holidays. Everyone has someone and I have shit. S H I T. It is a crappy attitude to have but fuck it. I am always so fucking optimistic. This that and the other thing…always trying to apply some bloody spiritual principle to a big pile of shit.
The language of letting go talked about just being patient. That things were already being worked out but I just couldn’t see them yet. Yep 35 years in the making and things are almost to completion. Part of me wishes it would just hurry up and end already because another 35 years of being alone is not what I am after.
I know what I want can’t be forced but what do I have to do to help it along? What the hell am I not doing to draw to me what it is that I am looking for? I know sometimes I try too hard but I’m a good fucking person. What the fuck…
Well now that that is all out…like the universe gives a flying fuck about my love life. I am starting to realize it isn’t even worth the bitchin’…
Hello love if your out there go fuck yourself. Heh. Maybe that is why I am alone because I am really just an angry prick selfishly after my own self-centered motives. Well thats one for the universe and zero for me. Good job everyone for seeing me who I truly am a low-life scumbag who deserves nothing.
Now now Aaron…part of me wants to erase this and normally I would but you know what fuck it. This post isn’t G rated but it is how I feel today and there is no reason to run away from the way I feel…