The past couple of days I’ve been thinking about my life and how things are going to change. For anyone who doesn’t know I’m going to teacher training to be a Bikram yoga instructor. Over the past few months I’ve done a lot to set the stage and be ready in as many ways possible. Financially it is a big commitment as I will have to keep things running back at home while I am away at training which lasts 9 weeks. There is so much to think about: money, health insurance, rent … the list goes on. The big one is the issue of what I’m going to do for work when I get back? Obviously I’m going to teach yoga for a time but the simple reality is that I won’t be able to afford most of the luxuries that I have in my life today. I won’t be able to save up for house, no more 401k or Roth IRA’s, nope, and I can kiss ESPP good-bye.
I did talk to my boss asking for the time off but that wasn’t an option from the company’s perspective. Honestly I can’t say I blame them, hell, if I were the company I would probably say the same thing but for a good employee I’d leave the door open. I’m sure that will be the situation for me at work but I can’t depend that there will be a place for me when I return. I suppose this is a pretty good segue into how I’m feeling about work lately. It feels like I’m totally expendable. Sometimes I wonder just what it is I do there and if anyone would really mind if I wasn’t there anymore? You know this brings up another good point that I’ve been thinking about lately: Maybe I ask these questions in reverse? Like perhaps I’m actually saying “Would I mind if they weren’t there anymore?” Victim-wise there is a big difference between the two questions.
The reality is that people carry on with their live, well, because they have to. People carry on not because they don’t like others or any other such nonsense they carry on because they really don’t have any other choice. The good news is that we’re all in this together…
So back to the training…lots of change and surely lots of growth. It isn’t like my life isn’t working now. Things are very good. I have a good job, great friends, health, and some security, but this can’t be all there is in fact I’m sure it is not and that is why I’m willing to stop everything and start over. I want to be part of other peoples lives on a daily basis working with them to help achieve the things they want. The funny thing is that if there was anything I thought I would be teach it would have been computers not yoga!
Time for bed…