I had woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. After I went back to bed this happened:
There was a sink and these people were making crack by cooking it in a big sink. It was really wierd because they were putting the drugs into the sink and then it was turning into little pellets in the drain. I was totally wierded out because it shouldn’t have been working. There was another sink and they were doing the same thing but this was more like a boiling pot with little coagulated chunks floating around.
I had given up and took the pipe. Someone put in one of the little pellets and I started drawing on the pipe. I sucked and sucked and sucked and sucked. It was like my breath would never end. Finally someone said “Let it out.” So I did and nothing came out and I wasn’t high.
Someone walked by me and said “I have the woman for you.” But I had noticed someone that I dated standing there except she looked totally hot. She was in someone elses body. I told her she looked great and that was when I decided to try the other crack. I put that in the pipe and lit it up and it started foaming like dish soap.
I was pissed that I wasn’t high.
I opened my eyes (IRL) and my heart was racing. My head felt like I had used and that my life was just a fucking mess. I totally felt like shit. The whole day today was about doing things that I didn’t want to. Everything was a bloody struggle, but I did it anyway. Most importantly I didn’t use. I was able to let people know how I was feeling even though I didn’t want to. It is OK to not want to do things but I have to do them anyway especially if I have commited to it.
I hope to get some rest tonight.