Bang! Shot in the stomach. You can’t move you can’t fucking breathe. All of your life is taken from you in just one moment. Shot in the stomach you bend over and the blood starts flowing, drip, drip, drip. From what I hear when you are shot in the stomach you die slowly and it is one of the most painful ways to go. I’ve never been shot in the stomach but I’m sure feelings are much worse than being shot in the stomach.
How do we get through our feelings? How do I push through the feeling that sits at the bottom of my stomach? “Lock the knee” We just have to lock the fucking knee. It is just as simple as it sounds and it means so much. It doesn’t mean that we will be happy about locking the knee or that it won’t hurt like fucking hell but we have to do it. Shit, I have to do it. I am never going to get anywhere in this world if I keep folding when it is time to go “all in”.
I’m doing my best man. I’m really fucking trying giving my life EVERYTHING I’ve got. The only way out is through and with that I have to keep moving forward. As painful as it may be as much as I feel like I am going to die with all of these emotions I have to just keep moving forward and remember to lock the knee.
I can’t control the outcome but I can try. I can do my best in every fucking situation in my life and not accept being a baby about things. Sometimes things just suck and life is tough and sometimes it is really freaking easy. Two sides, same coin-bookends.
Feels like I had one of my first yoga classes again…wow…it was hard but I don’t have to give up or leave the room. I didn’t die even though it felt like I was definitely going to.
I’m speaking in riddles shit I probably won’t understand this in a few months….
I’m so fucking grateful for my friends. Thank you all for being there for me to gently guide me through life!
The long and short is that feelings suck but its better to have feelings than no feelings at all.