The week in life and recovery has been a pretty good one. I went through some struggles this week but nothing more than I could handle. I am finally on the other side of my feelings and finally have some gratitude.
So what did I do differently?
I started leaving work after eight or nine hours of work, going to meetings, and fulfilling my commitments to myself and others. I am generally pretty good in the “others” department, but where I always fall short and what hurts me the most is my commitments to myself. These always fall by the wayside and make me feel terrible about me.
I suppose it didn’t hurt that I met with my therapist and finally got back to bikram yoga ( man that class kicked my butt). In the end who really knows. I mean I am sure I wouldn’t have felt any better about myself and my life if I hadn’t actually been actively talking about what was going on with me and letting people know where I was so that they could meet me there and help me through it.
I am really thankful for all of the wonderful people that I have in my life and even those that I hate and make me realize how not to be.
One thing that has been evident in my life lately are my opinions to things. There are some specifics but it is worth noting that I sort of like it when I hear people saying things and this feeling comes up from my stomach and I want to tell them they are fucked in the head and give them some reasons as to why.
Maybe I should call this post “Spirituality with middle finger a-blazing” Telling people to fuck off doesn’t make me any less spiritual. Actually, for me, it is all about telling people to fuck off. It is something I have wanted to do all of my life but never found the voice to do it so for me it is exactly that-spiritual. Hell it isn’t about being perfect it is about being willing to change. I must always be willing to change.
Saying no to someone else sometimes means saying yes to myself. With all of that said and a hopeful understanding of my readers (see I am always qualifying). I tell you, myself, and the universe with all my love and heart: FUCK OFF! 🙂