After the triathalon we went and got some food and then headed back to the campsite. The plan was to hit up Livermore falls a great swimming hole with lots of places to just into the water from. I had been there one other time with Ken, but I wanted nothing to do with jumping into the cold water. I was definitely intimidated by the thirty foot jump since you have to jump out and make sure you clear some rocks.
I watched a bunch of people do it so I knew that it was definitely safe but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I would go to the edge and look over totally committed and then when the time came to go I would just back up. Something clearly stopped me from jumping but I just don’t know what it was. I was really pissed that I couldn’t do it and I started to beat myself up. I was happy to do the 15 foot jump and the rope swing (which was a total blast), but I felt like I had to do the thirty footer just to prove myself.
What is really funny is that some guy came over and said “Hey want to see the sixty footer?” Of course I was like “Oh God” but I went over with him and watched him jump off the cliff. I figured I would have to do the thirty footer before I tried the sixty. It’s funny how there is always another challenge so even if I would have done the thirty I would still have to try the sixty. Blah.
We left and I hadn’t made the jump and I felt badly about myself. I felt like I had failed and my friends thought I was a looser. They hadn’t said a thing and were like “whatever man”. They really didn’t care but I did. I was telling myself all of those things…So over and over in my head went the thought of the jump, like I could do it in my head or something.
Ahh it is all past now. Maybe now that I have some experience jumping I can try again sometime. All I know is I had a blast on the rope swing and jumping from the lower level. I did what I was comfortable with and I suppose that is all that matters…