Oh my god…it seems like everyday it is something else…I just cant get any traction at work. I am trying so hard but no matter what happens I leave there feeling so dumb. Like today when I was working with someone and I didnt remember how to add a new disk to a windows box. I meanreally. How dumb is that?
OK maybe most would say you are being to hard on yourself and I could have figured it out but now that person knows that I didnt know how to do a simpople moronic task. I use this as evidence of my incompetance. Time and time again I make these little mistakes in the presence of others or all alone and I just hate myself for it.
I think “if that hadnt have happened things would be OK.” I look to change the unchangeable.
I cant escape this feeling that I am no good. I feel terrible about myself and I am sick of it. It seems as if what was once so effortless and feeing is now difficult and painful.
I am no longer secure in my profession. HAH. I am no longer secure within myself. I can see my part and it sucks. Everyone is right and
I am wrong.
All things move toward their ends…good old nick cave…maybe this will end for me too. Maybe things will get better for me. There is always hope…