Man I just don’t get it…Sometimes I get so mad…Last night it hit me and I was just pissed. Didn’t really know why I was mad, but felt completely discontent. I did a bit of work and then went to bed but couldn’t really sleep right away. I went on a long bike ride that day and thought maybe that was why I was a bit upset because I was physically sore. Sometimes that is the cause of my frustration, physical pain.
Anyway it carried over into work and I did my best. I didn’t freak out or anything but by the end of the day I had had it. I just had to get out of there. I couldn’t answer anymore questions. The store was closed.
I ate some food at Skampa and then headed home. I was going to do some step work and then watch “Shooter”, but I just could bear to let this day go by without going for another bike ride. It was just so nice! Anyway my plan was to only do an hour but I ended up riding for about an hour-fourty. I met this guy along the path and he busted my ass, he got me but I didn’t loose him and we had a good chat at the end. Man he could really fly…I am sure I will pay for it tomorrow.
The good news is when I got home I did feel as aggressive as I felt last night and a bit today. I really love my new bike and am so grateful for it, but I gotta take it easy too :). Ahh it is suppose to rain for the rest of the week, well, scattered t-storms.
I need to lighten up on myself and remember that this is a process and it will go on forever. Still I don’t want to act out and get mad it serves no purpose in my life and only makes things worse. What is most important is that I know that I *can* do it. Plus it feels great that people come to me asking for help. When I break it down it really is a cool thing…I think “This person could ask anyone to help them but they chose me.” How the heck could I get mad at someone for that? The funny thing is I am usually never mad at them oh no I am way to self-centered for that…It is generally about yours truly…:)
I talked about step work. Yes. I will be doing that after the meeting tomorrow. No bike rides, no movies, meeting and then step work. I promise.