I am starting to realize we don’t have the freedom of speech. If you think you do say whatever comes into your mind. Start a blog and just write anything that comes into your mind about anything or anyone. If you can do this let me know how you did it.
People think freedom of speech is all about the government and weather or not they will allow us to openly criticize or say whatever we want. Great. So now I say again, get a blog and take a nap, when you wake up for your dream write about it and while you are doing so make sure to think about this:
Maybe your employer
Maybe your ex-girlfriend
Maybe your current girlfriend
Maybe your future girlfriend
Maybe even the authorities
Maybe even a priest
will happen by your thoughts. All equally judging all morally wounding all thinking that they just can’t believe you could think in the manner that you do. Surely they have never had thoughts such as yours and certainly you should be locked up for thinking in such a way.
Yes maybe they will identify, but when it comes down to it and you have to defend your thoughts, or simply defend yourself because of your thoughts no one will be there to stand by you. Well very few.
I feel alone with my thoughts even though I know I am not alone. I know that I am not crazy, but I am so afraid of being judged. I am afraid of the same shit that pissed me off when I was a child: being kicked out. Once your peers don’t want you there is nothing left but a lonesome road with only you and the thoughts that got you there in the first place-loneliness.
Part of me doesn’t care. I just want to get on my bicycle with a crowbar and shake it around at everyone.
Ugh. I don’t even want to go to the meeting this morning. Thank god I have friends that care about me and can be there for me when I can’t be there for myself.