I’m gong to try and be as objective as possible. Just state the facts and then I’ll write a litany of shit here in contest 🙂
Coaching session started off with my coach asking me how I thought the class went. I responded happily as I thought the class went really well. I expressed that I thought the sing song voice was gone and that I was able to do a bit better with a few other things too (one more time, corrections).
My coach let me know that the sing song voice is still there in fact it was in every posture except three. I asked where this class was in comparison to last week and he told me it was a step back and that it was the same (no better) than the first class (when we started the coaching).
So basically we can’t go forward until I get this sorted out. The next step is to record my class and then he is going to work with me from there…
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I’m fucking pissed. I totally didn’t think that I was doing the sing song voice. I thought the class went really well in that I wasn’t reverting to that style of teaching. The best way to put it is like studying for a test answering the questions thinking you aced it and then getting it back with a big F. Failure. Zip. Zero. Zilchomatic. I probably shouldn’t look at it like that but I’m just expressing how I feel.
For the past few weeks I’ve felt like I’ve been talking in a more normal conversational voice. His remarks must mean that I’m still doing it and that I don’t know what it is or I wouldn’t be. To reality test all of this I’ve noticed a huge change in the classes that I’ve been teaching over the past two weeks. On several separate occasions other teachers have told me that my classes have gotten better and I was working in the right direction. Students in one way or another have been saying similar things. Most importantly I’ve seen the bodies MOVE differently since I’ve been saying the dialogue differently. That must mean SOMETHING????
The session ended with my coach letting me know to just teach the classes and not think too much about it it may take a year or so for me to break this pattern (not sure why it’ll take longer than I’ve been teaching to break the pattern). I need to show up to teach the classes and I shouldn’t put too much pressure on myself. I’m not sure if that is what he was saying but that’s the way I’m taking it…
HAHA I really thought I was going to get accolades during the session for the improvement that I made. So much for me thinking that! Blah…I don’t want to give up but it’s times like this that when the fuckits seem like an appropriate option. I’m working harder at this job than I’ve worked at any. Sure I spent lots of time doing computer work but that was just about throwing time at problems this is much different as it’s actually working on yourself and that’s the only way to become better.
I don’t have to like what I hear but I’ve got to be open to it. In the end listening to what people say AND doing my best to correct it is only going to make me a better teacher. I’m glad my coach is willing to tell me the tough stuff that I can’t see and work with me through it. I’m not at fault here I’m doing my best and there really isn’t anymore I can do. Hell I’ve only been teaching for five months what the hell do I expect? If this was easy I would’ve gotten bored long ago…