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On my return trip from Madrid Spain I missed my connection from London and was rerouted on a BA flight. At that point I was separated from my bag and…

My attitude is completely shit. I have it out for this world again and it is probably inevitable that I will use. Can an addict stay like this for a prolonged period of time and not use? Maybe I have a hole in my program? Who knows but I feel like shite and want to throw it all away. I am so sick of hearing myself say that and not doing fuckall about it. Argh. These little events are getting more and more frequent. I guess the city/work and all that shit is finally catching up to me. I am clean just for today.

I am not giving up man. I don't care how down I feel or how much life beats the shit out of me. I am not giving up. I am going to stay in this processs because it is all I have. I just need to give myself a break and realize that I am not perfect.

Just couldn't handle life today. Everything caved in at once. Feeling terrible about myself and the world around me. Left work, came home, went to the chiropractor, went back to work stayed there until 9pm came home. I watched "Broken Flowers" finally. It is three days late. I like Bill Murray. Guess I will sleep. I don't think I like myself much anymore. I just feel terrible.

I dunno man things just are the way that they are reguardless of my liking them or not. Today was a pretty good day. I got some stuff done at work mainly organizational and I am going to the rock gym tomorrow! Yay! I got out of work at a resonable hour, hit a meeting, talked to other addicts, and now I am home writing this. Man pretty good day? Today was a fucking awesome day! Right on man. Till tomorrow... Aaron's Dictionary Constelacopation The art of tricking oneself into believing that things are.