We are all alone as we want to be. I am a loner. Big deal. My friend Polly said something really cool, something along the lines of "...Aaron you approach the world from the perspective of you being the only person in your consciousness..." It think it was pretty funny since she was using that as an argument to the fact that I may be crazy otherwise. I don't know maybe I didn't get it right. We are all loners to some degree, and I am no different.
So I slept on what happened last night at work at still feel shitty about it. I am not as sick as I was last night so hopefully this cold is breaking up. One thing I need to keep in mind is that I have been working a lot lately.
No matter where I go I always bring myself with me. I want to be totally melodramatic and say that I am a failure. That I never do anything right.…
On my return trip from Madrid Spain I missed my connection from London and was rerouted on a BA flight. At that point I was separated from my bag and…
My attitude is completely shit. I have it out for this world again and it is probably inevitable that I will use. Can an addict stay like this for a prolonged period of time and not use? Maybe I have a hole in my program? Who knows but I feel like shite and want to throw it all away. I am so sick of hearing myself say that and not doing fuckall about it. Argh. These little events are getting more and more frequent. I guess the city/work and all that shit is finally catching up to me. I am clean just for today.