On and Off

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Sometimes it is a little of this and a little of that...What is the trick to consistency? Is there some intrisic property of it that I am missing? Either I…

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Where I’m At

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Well it usually isn't until I feel like I am going to die that I am able to live again. This time was no different. It may sound melodramatic but…

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Again

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So this dream was from the other night... I was in this apartment and I was trying to date this woman who is in the program, but yet someone which…

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I can’t do it.

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I am really sorry but I just can't do this anymore. I have given it my all. Four plus years and it is time to throw in the towel. I just can't do this anymore. I have so much support but I don't want to help myself anymore I want to be alone. I want to die. I no longer want to live. Feeling like this is no fun at all. I can't do anything and walk around with this knot in the bottom of my stomach. Argh. Maybe I will run into that which strips me of my being. I am no longer commited to saying "No."

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