Vacation
Work
Trip to London
Return
Meet new friends
Lack of meetings
Hate myself
Heh…Just kidding…I’ll talk, but I am in a mode that thinks talking sucks. Whats the point? Talk talk talk. There really is no point in defending oneself people believe what they want at the time and in the end we all really have no control. I am not speaking about anything in specific or in any code just generally. I gave up trying to speak in code awhile ago and figure the best form of art in writing comes out when clearly expressed not in some sort of cryptographic way. I am not saying that I am clear either but I do my best. It is all a work in progress.
I have been going pretty hard lately. Work, life and the lot. I have been ranting about how this summer has been the best summer of my life and that still holds true. Never before have I ever been so involved in living. I find myself really looking forward to time with friends and seeking out everyone in my life and even those that have yet to come into my life. It’s great, but I always keep in the back of my mind that it will all come crashing down and my life will again be shit since that is what I truly deserve. It’s bullshit and I know it but I can’t will myself into thinking I am worth something. That is something that will happen over time and I am willing to let that process happen as it may. I must still get something out if, some form of sick comfort, or whathaveyou.